This little guy was a present to myself when I went to Disneyland for
the first time. I was 17. On the flight back, I clung to him like a
5-year-old with a security blanket through the airport. Barely having
slept the night before, I was tired and disheveled; sans makeup with my
hair lazily scrunched into a ponytail and wearing the most comfortable
clothes I owned, I probably looked no older than 13, and absolutely
everyone I encountered treated me as such, but I didn’t care. He was
cute and also my makeshift pillow.
Confession time: I’m an adult, and I sometimes still sleep with stuffed animals.
Four years later, I received a giant panda pillow pet as part of a
gift for graduating college. Sometimes, when the boyfriend is snoring
too loudly, I drag the weird, flat panda out from his home under the bed
and cuddle him fervidly. Or use him to shield my poor ears.
I guess I should be embarrassed, but my lack of shame runs deep. And
anyway, the only person who has to deal with my childish tendencies is
my boyfriend, and he doesn’t seem to mind as long as I don’t touch his
stuff. Not to mention, we used to hang out in my childhood room, so he’s
seen how bad it can get. (Hint: pretty bad.)
I hoarded stuffed animals as child. I allowed them to share my bed
space if they promised not to be total hogs, and in return, they made me
feel safe. Even when they started looking like haggard thrift-store
rejects, I held onto them for sentimental reasons. The Velveteen Rabbit
and Toy Story so did not help with this.
As I grew older, I did a tremendously awful job at keeping my room
organized and tossing out things I had outgrown (toys, notes, silly
school projects, you name it). Even when the desire to appear more
mature compelled me to tear down the magazine cutouts of cute boys from
my walls, I was happily complacent with my bed warmers. I didn’t need
them, they were simply there and I either ignored them or forgot they
existed, so they sat in limbo on my bed or smooshed in between the
mattress and the wall until I remembered to donate them.
I like to think that my fondness for plushies is not entirely
unreasonable or immature. Moving has scattered by collection for the
most part. I’m not actively seeking additions, but that all depends on
how many drinks I’ve had and if I wound up tipsy in the ADORBZ section of Barnes & Noble.
Sure, I’ve heard derisive comments in passing—Internet comments and
things of that nature—to suggest that this behavior is by-and-large
frowned upon, but I’ve never once had a potential love interest deride
me for wanting to fall asleep with a pillow pet. So what do you think?
Is it weird, or do you do it, too?
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