LADIES: Warning Signs That 'Your Mr. Nice Guy' Will Break Your Heart

Just because he's "nice" doesn't mean he may not hurt you. Here's how (and why) ...
There's a good deal written about bad boys: how to recognize them and how to avoid getting your heart broken. But, bad boys aren't the only
dangerous men out there in the dating world. You need to watch out for the "super nice guys," too.
What's so dangerous about a super nice guy? Well, just like a super nice women, super nice guys bend
over backwards to avoid hurting your feelings.
They want to avoid conflict at any cost and so they "make nice." They shy away from expressing how
they really feel if they think you won't agree.
The danger of getting involved with a super nice guy is that they send mixed messages about how they feel.
You think he's being open with you, yet something doesn't feel quite right. He talks about the future
and says just what you want to hear; he wants marriage and kids (lol). Naturally, you assume that since you two are dating, this future dream of his includes you. But does it?
Something doesn't seem quite right and you can't put your finger on it. You find yourself second- guessing your feelings and questioning the truth of your relationship.
Here's what makes this situation so hard.
A super nice guy really cares about you and enjoys your company, but he also will do anything to avoid
hurting your feelings; he will never admit he's not in love with you!
Rather than make waves, he'll spend his time with you until someone better comes along.
You're not who he envisioned for his future, but he's afraid to tell you. He probably doesn't want to lose your company or the comfort of having someone he likes to go out with. He doesn't want you thinking he's a bad guy either. So, you're easy and "good
enough" to fill the time until that truly special woman comes along.
How do you recognize the guy who is super nice?
Here are five signs to watch out for:
1. He talks about the future without including you specifically.
2. He attends to your needs more than his own, usually out of guilt for not feeling fully engaged with you.
3. He avoids disagreements, preferring always to keep things status quo between you.
4. When you ask him directly how he feels about you, he's unsure and indirect. He may say he deeply cares for you, but follows that with, "I
need more time," or, "I'm not ready for a full commitment yet."
5. Your relationship seems to plateau at a certain point and stops growing.
Super nice guys can end up wasting a lot of your precious time. The mixed messages he sends
leave you feeling conflicted about breaking up with him because after all, he treats you so well and he
obviously likes you.
Let's face it, sometimes you choose the easy way, too. You can rationalize that having a boyfriend is
better than being alone. You can tell yourself that maybe his feelings will change.
But then you're being just like him—settling.
True love relationships grow deeper and stronger with time. If that isn't happening, you'll have to
become the "bad guy" and break it off. He he he. So young ladies out there, shine your eyes... Enjoy your week.

Lifestyle: 19 Things unhappy people do.

© image/jpeg Things Unhappy People Do Everyone has their off days, but why cause more negativity if you can avoid it? If you work on thinking positively about yourself and others, you will be that much closer to being your happiest self. Below are 19 things unhappy people do that we should all try to avoid.
1. They worry about things they can't change
We are all guilty sometimes of wondering what might have been if we had chosen or acted differently. But in most cases, this is a dead-end street. Unhappy people tend to brood about the "could've, should've, would'ves" of life, but it's important not to worry about things we can't change; instead, we should learn from our mistakes and simply try to do better next time! We may even end up being happy that we made some mistakes.
2. They give up when things get too hard
Unhappy people tend to back down when they are presented with a challenge. It's easy to throw in the towel when things seem like a lost cause, but powering through and persevering will usually yield good results. Giving up just leaves you feeling defeated. Regardless of the outcome, following through boosts confidence and reassures us that when all is said and done, we did everything we could to make it happen!
3. They take themselves too seriously
People who take themselves too seriously tend to take life too seriously in general. If you are able to take a step back and laugh at yourself and the absurdity of life every now and then, things won't seem so dire.

4. They never exercise
Exercise has countless mental and physical benefits. The more you exercise, the better you feel about yourself and the more likely you are to live a healthy lifestyle. Ditching exercise for a more sedentary way of life can have an overall negative effect on mood, health, and happiness. Here are some workouts that match different moods!
5. They set unattainable goals for themselves
We all know that setting goals for ourselves is important; it's the only way to get things done! But it can be a problem when the goals are unrealistic and unreachable. While we think it's great to always reach for the stars, people who hold themselves to impossible standards will be left feeling disappointed if they don't succeed. The key is to set small and attainable goals for yourself, and you will feel great when you meet and even exceed them. Remember - nobody is perfect!
6. They eat unhealthy foods often
Everyone has their guilty food pleasure (truffle fries, anyone?), and we fully support the occasional indulgence. However, unhappy people tend to let their indulgences become their habits. Eating healthy foods can lift your mood, give you more energy, and improve your physical health. Plus, there are so many great healthy recipes out there to try!

7. They don't get enough sleep
Sleep is essential! The amount of sleep you get corresponds with how happy and productive you are the next day. You may think that putting in that extra hour of work is a good idea, but nine times of out 10, work - and most other things! - should take the backseat to a good night's sleep. Check out some good bedtime habits to aid your beauty sleep!
8. They focus on their weaknesses, not their strengths
We all have our insecurities - the key is to embrace the good and try not to focus on the bad. Self-improvement is important, but unhappy people tend to dwell too much on their weaknesses instead of working on having a positive self-image. We should recognize our flaws and own them but never let them hold us back!
9. They spend too much time on social media
This one is a biggie! These days people lay out their whole lives online, and there are many drawbacks to this kind of social media over-share. For one, we can spend too much time comparing ourselves to other people. It's great that your friend just got a new job, got married, or had a baby, but it's OK that you are at a different - and just as important! - part of your life. It's a good idea to take a step away from the screen and get some perspective. Unhappy people tend to get caught up in social media and worry too much about how they appear to other people, which can have a negative effect on how they view themselves.
10. They stay in their comfort zones
It's easy to stay in our comfort zones where we feel safe and where the potential for risk is low. But staying there too long means we may be missing out on some great things in life. A huge contributing factor to unhappiness is boredom - and this can be easily remedied by trying new things and taking some risks! We don't necessarily mean that you should drop everything and go skydiving, but maybe try a new type of food, go see a show that sounds unusual, or take a weekend trip somewhere that you've never been.

11. They worry about what other people think
Unhappy people tend to care too much what people think. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do to please other people, so what matters most is loving yourself!
12. They gossip or speak negatively about others
Our moms taught us many things - one important lesson being that if you can't say something nice, then there is no reason to say anything at all. People who are unhappy sometimes try to bring other people down in order to make themselves better, but this never works! A better remedy is to lift others up and work on feeling great!
13. They work too much
Everyone deserves a mental health day! People who work too much can often neglect their needs, and sometimes all you need is a day to take a break from work and focus on yourself!
14. They isolate themselves
When things get tough, it's easy to withdraw from the people who care about you. But spending time with close friends and family when you're unhappy is actually a great way to feel better! Sometimes being with people can take our minds off whatever is bringing us down, so surrounding ourselves with people who love us most is a great way to turn things around.

15. They never indulge themselves
Happy people know that it's important to take a vacation, splurge on a new outfit, or enjoy a spa day now and then. People who aren't happy sometimes forget that taking care of themselves is just as important as taking care of others. Make sure to treat yourself!
16. They're OK with settling
People who are unhappy often stay in their comfort zones and are content to settle for things. Whether it's staying stuck in a relationship that isn't making us happy or settling for one job when we have our eye on another one, staying in ruts can make us feel like our lives have plateaued. Happy people work to get themselves out of these ruts and make the changes needed to start heading in the direction they want to be going!
17. They refuse to forgive
Unhappy people tend to hold on to grudges, but there is freedom and peace in letting go of things and offering forgiveness to yourself and others.

18. They avoid planning and organization
Disorganization can leave people feeling like their lives are in a state of disarray. Even if it is something as simple as rearranging your room or trying out these DIY organization hacks, restoring order can help you feel like you have regained a measure of control over things. Unhappy people who avoid organization and planning ahead tend to be less prepared to deal with life's twists and turns.
19. They focus only on themselves
While caring for yourself is essential, unhappy people tend to only think of themselves. Treating others unkindly or constantly focusing on yourself and your own problems can be harmful to your well-being and happiness. It's amazing what a little bit of kindness and looking at the bigger picture can do for the soul!
And if you need some tips on how to be happy, try following these lessons from the Happy movie!
What are some other ways to avoid being unhappy?

Lifestyle: 7 Excuses That Will Hold You Back From Success

So many people in life get hung up on excuses -- feeling they can't go out for the better job, start their own business, or take whatever risk because of... whatever it might be.

Excuses are like noses, we all have one. But when you can train yourself to see these flimsy ideas for what they are, and stop treating them as a brick wall in your path, you can move past them towards your own success.

Here are just a few of the excuses I hear most often -- whether from individuals about their own dreams or executives about their company's direction.

1. I don't have the money.
I've heard this at every level, from the bloke who has an idea to start his own business all the way up to the mega-corporations I've consulted with. The point is, you can make this excuse whether you've got one dollar or one million.

The people who get past it, however, are the ones who succeed. They find a way around it. They barter or trade for the services they need. They start a side hustle and save up. They cut their expenses. They find an investor, take out a loan, apply for a grant.

Successful people don't let the lack of any resource (money being just a resource, after all) keep them stuck for long.

2. I don't have the time.
All the most successful people in the world -- Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Oprah -- have the same 24 hours in a day that you do.

Examine closely how you spend your time, and you'll see where your priorities truly lie. There are very few commitments in this life that are truly non-negotiable. Allowing yourself to fall into the trap of the idea that you don't have time to do what you want just shows that you don't want it badly enough.

3. I've never done this before.
There are loads of things you've succeeded at that you'd never done before you tried. You'd never walked before you did, never driven a car before you first got behind the wheel, never had a job before your first one.

Every journey starts with the first step, but you have to take it.

4. I don't have the skills.
I have one word of advice for you: Google.

You can find instructions, how-tos and even books and courses on how to do practically anything on the Internet -- for free. If you still can't find what you need, buy a book. Still struggling? Hire a coach.

You can get a college-level education just from reading the books found in your local library, so throw away the idea that a fancy degree is standing between you and what you want, because it's almost never true.

5. The conditions aren't right.
Waiting for things to be perfect is maybe the worst possible excuse, because things will never be perfect. No one is going to come along with a stopwatch and say, "If you start... NOW! You'll succeed!"

Loads of things were launched at the "wrong" time or before the world was ready. Some of them failed, and some succeeded beyond anybody's wildest dreams. Waiting for the "right conditions" is like the fisherman sitting on the banks, waiting for the fish, but never putting his hook in the water -- that is to say, kind of pointless.

6. _________ says I can't/shouldn't/am not good enough to do this.
Here's the thing: nothing amazing, innovative, revolutionary ever came out of a group consensus. In fact, many of the most truly revolutionary ideas were met with a great deal of hostility and skepticism. That TV thing is just a fad. The Internet will never catch on. Who wants to be on Facebook all day long?

The truth is, people are going to disagree with you. They won't get your vision. They won't believe in you.

Doesn't matter. Only one person needs to believe in what you're doing when you start, and that's you.

7. I don't have anything new.
Some of the most successful businesses out there didn't invent something totally new. Which came first, LivingSocial or Groupon? MySpace came before Facebook.

The point is, you don't have to do something completely new to be successful. Take something that already exists and improve on it, change it, tweak it, turn it around and give it your own spin.

There are millions of books out there, but each one is different. There are thousands of stand-up comics, each with his or her own show. Loads of accountants, software developers, designers, manufacturers.

It's not about how you will be totally new, but how you will be different.
These are just a few of the top excuses I have heard, but they're certainly not the only ones. I'd love to hear from you: What excuses have you heard? Or maybe you have used an excuse that's held you back from success? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

LIFESTYLE: 5 Fundamentals for Success in Life

What can we do to become more
successful? How can we excel in all areas of life, whether professional or personal?
A vast body of literature has been written on this subject over the decades, but here
are five points which I regard as being fundamental.
How to Be Successful in Life
1. Be Proactive
Viktor Frankly said that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and within this gap lies all our freedom. Even as he was suffering immense privations in a Nazi concentration camp, he realized that
he was responsible for his thoughts and actions and was not simply a bundle of conditioned responses.
Like Frankly, we should strive to be the creators of our own destiny, orchestrating our experience of life. Everything starts in the mind and ripples out, so what happens around us is a reflection of our own inner world. Whether we allow our inner world to grow wild, whether we let
weeds spring up and take hold or whether we cultivate a green and pleasant garden
– it is all our choice: this is what it means to be proactive.
2. Take Responsibility
Since we have the power to choose our experience, we also need to accept responsibility for this. Perhaps not that everything that comes our way is a direct
result of our own thinking (though some might say it is) but what we attract into our life is, largely, a reflection of our thinking. Much of this occurs on a subconscious level, but the subconscious takes its lead from the thinking mind, so changing our thoughts will change our world, and we are responsible for this.
Our behavior is a natural outcome of our mental images, and so we are responsible for our behavior too, and also for the behavior we tolerate in others. If we allow others to ride roughshod over us, then we have ourselves to blame.
3. Be a Good Leader
We cannot be effective in any area of life unless we have good leadership skills. Leadership is an art and each of us needs to find our own approach to it. Primarily, we need to understand how to lead ourselves, and this means having a compass, a direction which guides all our
actions. This compass often takes the form of a personal mission statement, a document spelling out the values we live by. As we lead others, whether as parents, bosses, in families or organizations of which we are a part, we need first and foremost to lead by example, making it clear what our values are and that we live
by them. Any inconsistency in our
professed values and our behavior will be spotted, seen through and will ruin our effectiveness. Personal complicity and double standards are the nails in the coffin of our ability to lead.
A good leader will lead quietly and subtly, from the rear, without fuss, without fanfare. In the words of the Tao Te Ching, ‘A good soldier does not inspire fear; A good fighter does not display aggression; A good conqueror does not engage
in battle; A good leader does not exercise authority. This is the value of unimportance; This is how to win the cooperation of others; This to how to build the same harmony that is in nature.’
4. Don’t Let Fear Stop You
I love the movies of M Night Shyamalan. My favorite is The Village. The film is about facing the fears that haunt us and realizing that, when we do so, they disappear – nothing is as it seems. I heard once (though I can’t remember where) that the most commonly given command in the Bible is ‘do not be afraid.’
Whenever we grow, there is fear.
Whenever we do something new, there is fear. Whenever we push ourselves to new heights or expand our comfort zone, there is fear. This is the nature of life. Life is always moving – either we are moving
forward, growing, or we are moving back, dying. We have a choice – we can either grow or we can die. Growth and fear go hand in hand. It’s part of a package, and if we fail to embrace the whole package,
we will die. Don’t fear failure – failure is inevitable and necessary. Look at the life of any successful person and you will see a litany of failure. This failure is the foundation of success, so long as we learn from it.
Don’t fear other people. They are as
vulnerable and as beautiful as you are – only sometimes they lash out in various ways to protect themselves. Everyone is doing their best, so be gentle on other people and don’t be scared of them. When you face your fears, they will vanish
like smoke.
5. Never Stop Learning
I have come to the conclusion that
learning is the fundamental activity in a successful and purposeful life. If we fail to learn, we fail to grow, and this means that we die. Life gives us endless opportunities to learn, and the more difficult the situation, the more we are likely to learn.
We can learn from other people, especially difficult ones – they are like angels sent from heaven to teach us about ourselves. We can learn from the things happening
around us. And most of all, we can learn by watching ourselves, seeing how we react and reflecting deeply on what moves us.
I strongly believe these five activities, if they can become habits, will lead to success in all areas of life. They are not a quick fix, but are the Foundation of a life lived well. See you at the top. I remain your son, brother, cousin and friend..   Israel Otoijamun.