I am 25 years old and this is the first time I'm
actually entertaining these thoughts in the past i
would block it out as fast as the thought popped up.
I don't look or think about men the way I do women
it's just so weird to explain. Once in a blue moon it
doesn't happen often, but ill see a man that will
intrigue me. I have no desire to go through any
sexual intercourse with any man Its just I've met a
FEW that I wanted to kiss. There was this one man
at the basketball court, he was gay and wasn't
hiding it. It's the first time I remember wanting to
take a man home. Holy shit wtf am I saying. . .i can
never tell my family any of this ever and I probably
will never act on it. I LOVE women I love having sex
with women I've never touched a man before in any
way sexually before, but sometimes. . . I look at
something, but Im not really even thinking anything.
Im not even sure why I looked at him twice. . .i don't
know. . .im going to my grave with this, but one
thing that scares me is that Ive been thinking about
that guy from the courts all day and Ive been
thinking of going back and Oh my God I don't
fucking know. . .
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